Simple incident..Big change..

Quite a few people are aware that my whole purse got snatched recently while coming from shipra one night by riksha.I ran after the person, followed him with help of a bike but he hid in a park nearby so i lost track of him.I even informed police and that's will be a different blog to quote it's reactions.Well i really don't want any questions hurled at me at any cost so i kept it a secret informing only near and dear ones.

Well aftr losing my purse which contained my walet,mobile and many little things of lesser importance like MAC compact powder whose use i was still struggling to discover..my lotus kajal which i was yet to training myself to apply and Rs1500 or more...of course atm cards and i card.Rest of the items were quite unimportant but loss of money really got me on my nerves.

First night i spent crying and imagining all kind of possible situations in which i would have reacted and not lost my purse.The whole scene kept on appearing and i lost my whole night's sleep over it.Suddenly after this incident my sense of security seemed to vanish and fear took over.All incidences of noida in newspapers flashed over my mind making me feel more unsafe.I had this tendency to believe that anything like this can't happen to me.This is for the more unfortunate ones.Even watching all that news over TV didn't prepared me for the incidence.My first brush with so called real life situation.In my case i strongly suspect that even rikshawala was involved.And we trust them so easily with ourselves to take us anywhere at anytime for a meager amount of money.He could have done anything with us a full fledged loot perhaps or even murder.No one would have hailed us.The road was quite empty.How much we tend to trust people and our eyees open only when the trust is betrayed.Well i am not writing for safety on roads it other matter altogether.

The money was my spare money i fastidiously and painfully saved to get a new pair of branded sandels with heels.I made so much plans with it ranging from going Jodhpur to Pathankot with my female friend.. gifting a loved one something and many others..For days i regretted the loss..the plans..the dreams But now thankfully i ve got over all of them but i ve founded new fears..new shops and total new mentality and that too completely unconsiously.that is..

1. I ve stopped asking more and more money from my mom.I only ask the money i really need and spend it quite guiltlessly and easily as compared to the other times when i used to weigh the use, the utility of each 100 bucks spent by me thinking i could ve saved it for my future use.I got over saving money for future use in expense of present one.

2. I ve started thinking so much before venturing out that i ve left no desire to go out at all.I feel so much unsafe and i am afraid i'll develop some kind of anxiety over it.

3. I ve started appreciating the kind of security my hostel and college campus provides.Though i used to recognize it earlier still i wanted to break free in outside life.Now i feel thankful of not leaving hostel in last year.

4. I ve grown from a carefree moving girl unknown to her surroundings to more suspicious girl especially in foreign environment i mean out of campus.God knows i still get jitters seeing a dog moving in dark even in campus.

5. I ve started to recognize the importance of being afraid of many things and having that dare devil, bold attitude that i can handle everything.There are situations which can make you feel helpless no matter how much smart u think u are.

6. I recently got my footwear at atta at a cheap rate and found that wearing brands is kind of over rated need to boast to ur ego and show off.Most of us belong to humble household and our parents have saved money to built our future and not our style.Spend money when you can earn it.There is more in u as a person than wearing brands to impress others.

And most importantly... I recognized the futility of money in spending.It would have been much better if i had given this to feed some hungry kids or something like that as charity.What is the use of money you are spending on luxury when ur own country people are actually dying in lack of basic necessities.For them even 100 bucks u spend in one time dining out means a lot.How can you be so insensitive.There are people who die and kill for this amount.Think this before you go for another spending spree or when you see girls and guys dressed up as ramp models and u crave for same look.. clothes and accesories.

Life seems more meaningful when you have dreams for others unprivileged too,instead of running after meaningless, temporary gratifying luxuries.Time will come for these too but not now.You ve got to deserve them and not at least from ur parents money..