Feeling worthless..

 If someone was actually following up my blog he/she would feel my life is a complete drag on.It's not actually.I have many happy blissful days when i am all gung ho about life.But it's not in that mood i feel like writing blog.It's actually on days like this one has patience and motivation to scribble sorry type some soulful words in this space and sent to world wide web.Now i feel why in olden days people used to write a note, put it in bottle cork it and throw it in big wide ocean.So that some day someone or even lucky they themselves could uncork it and feel nostalgic.That's why we love literature.Anybody's thoughts feelings.I think it is some aspect of human civilization called communication.They have a very severe punishment called solitary confinement to stop this pleasure.I feel nothing would be the same if we have no body to talk to.
  Well i am feeling so worthless.I hate HPCL.If i hadn't got a call for interview from there i would have been somewhere not here repeating the things again and again.They almost made me believe that i was good enough and interview will be a cake walk.So overconfident me.And i stopped studying.Got myself more involved into my family which further made it worse.Interview happened pretty late.I almost got sick of opening their page in internet explorer.I can't fathom the reason all psu prefer it.It came so late and at a bad timing.Things were not great at home.I screwed up the interview with my nervousness in which i tend to speak more and more without thinking twice.My mother helped it in too.She came inside office in her dress asking when it will be over.So they got it done first.May be not a favorable impression.I just want to cry over that lost chance or split milk as you can say.It was my first.I was so uselessly hopeful.Lost dreams lesson gained.Don't go inside unprepared.And never bring your mom who is so audacious with you.Had it hurt her if she could just wait outside like anyone.I ve said her good bye and she ought to wait in her car.But God knows why after 15 min she shows up in office.I hate her face of that day now.May be i need to cover up my own short comings.What hurts more is instant on your face rejection.I just got out one man told me to wait.He went up inside came out and told sorry.That's it.I wished they'll call me back.E mail me or whatever but it never happen.My mom wanted to go back and ask the reason of my rejection.How stupid.


 The reason i am remembering all this is that everyone i know are at some seemingly wonderful places doing job, M tech, MBA, MS and what not.And i am here ranting about my failed attempts..What can i say.It hurts..A LOT..