Fear of driving...

   It's been more than 7 years that my family owned a car and my mom confidently driving it.And strangely i ve never been curious about it.I enjoy much more sitting beside the driver and enjoying the scenery.Even when i sat on a bike with my Bf i hated the idea of actually riding the machine.
  But recently after continuously pestering of him and seeing even modest girls riding a bike so carefree and diligently i am having second thought about my reluctance.
  First problem is i just can't imagine myself actually riding the huge heavy machine and actually controlling it through mind boggling twist and turns of my hands and legs.I always fear i'll forget one or the other movement adn create a disaster.
  Secondly, i ve noticed the way people ruthlessly driving their way on roads.To make the matters worse there are auto s who are always adamant to make their way on streets one way or the other especially out of competition and then waiting hour long for the passengers.
 Thirdly i fear that somehow my mind will wander away and i'll ignore that bus crossing road and straight ram into it or take that one wrong decision to move left or right and will invite fury of my fellow road mates.
 Other fears are more vague like slipping failing brakes or any thing.Driving or riding feels so tough for a person like me.I really admire all those persons who take this risk everyday and every moment leaving their well being and life at mercy of streets and fellow travellers..


 As for me.. i have to still think thrice before taking bike in my own hands.But then one day or the other i have to overcome this fear.I have decided in my life that i'll never fear the fear and keep challenging myself.For this year it's my challenge....Please God help me..

passing days..

Well things are now cooling down.My efforts to stay awake in class are now negligible.I have started getting down to reasonable amount of studying though every now and then there is frustrating..break for God knows what reasons.

  I could still not study as much as i want to and this is very sick.I couldn't get away from my guilt.

Somehow i have a theory that most things i do is either because of guilt or regret.I was feeling guilty that i finished my college without significant knowledge of my subject so decided to give my self one more chance and and i joined coaching.Second reason was of course regret that if i don't do it now now i'll probably regret it through my life struck in lowly private job for no time for myself.

  Just look into your life and introspect what decisions one took just because of guilt and regret.

 Sorry now my G&R theory is telling me that i am already feelimg enough guilty for not studying and i'll regret all through tomorrow if i don't do it now...

 Ya.. Happy Diwali.. though i'll celebrate mine only when i turn successful keep myself away from darkness of sleepiness and boredom while studying..;;