My upcoming Birthday...

I know preeti is preparing for my b day and that too a surprise i never got. In fact it is the surprise that i have never got on my birthday. In fact i don't recall any memorable birthday except the one in which blue biird fell in my corridor. I always wanted small small things or surprises never a big thing. BUt as for my parents were concerned money was more important than anything else. Each year i had to convince them to celebrate my b day. Even if they did no one came as everyone back then used to go to relatives place. Even at my taiji's i had to beg for cake adn small party adn all i got were bunch of pastries passed for cake. Even gifts were asked before hand to prevent any misunderstandings. As for my mother she never thought my birth on this earth deserved anything and not in the least a gift. Evn when my birthday was celebrated the tension of holding a patry was too much for her. She would snap on me often adn beat me too. Even party was for others. 

I was never enough popular among friends school or college. In fact in college the birthday wishes i got were maximum 2 or 3 including one from myu. My relationship with myu was always underwater to expect anything out of him. Eventhe gifts he claimed to have bought for me were nevr recieved whether it was denim skirt or so called payal.. They became panki bhaiya's make up box. 

I don't even know how to react when i will finally feel satiated. I don't think myu can ever do it right. It is too late to do all the things i wished for. Even if he does they all will be just acknowledged not enjoyed and i would just feel awkward instead of feeling obliged or at least happy. Though i am accustomed in buying him things and i have learnt to expect nothing out of him. HIs own expenses are hard to meet for him.

Birthday will become more memorable if i get through IES with a nice rank. BUt probably it is too much to ask.

I don't even remeber when i last cut cake on my birthday??? Or even eaten a piece of pastry?/ Or even enjoyed.Let's see if this birthday will bring something else in my life..