I know it will sound strange but sometimes i feel i am not living my life at all.I am just pretending somebody called aditi and doing things on impulse as much as i can.I have these separate ideas for living life and more often i find myself doing things which i won't like to do as me.How can i be reckless selfish in living as i am.Sometimes i am so double standard and insensitive towards everyone around me.It like that i can't believe that it's me who is acting on wicked emotions.And i swear they are so uncontrollable and strong.
I am not even heroine of my life.You know earlier when i was more forgiving or ignorant of my own nature i was the heroine of my life's novel but now i feel myself more of a villain the vamp the bad girl and like wise.
I keep on doing mistakes and do them again until i forget and do them once again.Seems like i just can't have my lessons or i am taking forever to learn as if i have a spare life with me and i am just sampling with this one.
It causes a great deal of confusion between right and wrong.And i almost always go the wrong way.
And i miss my father a lot.May be he could have helped to figure out myself and arrange ,my life better.I am jealous of those girls who have their fathers by their side to control them guide them lead them.And i find myself so alone.May be it's just a excuse for a serial mistake maker.But how could i explain that i simply don't get it all.I couldn't help it and may be if i go back i'll do them once again.
Well i try to be cheerful strong and positive all the time.Deriving comfort in books novels movies etc but deep down i know some part of my heart will try to find a missing piece of my life .. my father,Whom i didn't had the opportunity to know him better.
I am not even heroine of my life.You know earlier when i was more forgiving or ignorant of my own nature i was the heroine of my life's novel but now i feel myself more of a villain the vamp the bad girl and like wise.
I keep on doing mistakes and do them again until i forget and do them once again.Seems like i just can't have my lessons or i am taking forever to learn as if i have a spare life with me and i am just sampling with this one.
It causes a great deal of confusion between right and wrong.And i almost always go the wrong way.
And i miss my father a lot.May be he could have helped to figure out myself and arrange ,my life better.I am jealous of those girls who have their fathers by their side to control them guide them lead them.And i find myself so alone.May be it's just a excuse for a serial mistake maker.But how could i explain that i simply don't get it all.I couldn't help it and may be if i go back i'll do them once again.
Well i try to be cheerful strong and positive all the time.Deriving comfort in books novels movies etc but deep down i know some part of my heart will try to find a missing piece of my life .. my father,Whom i didn't had the opportunity to know him better.
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